just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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