I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
