I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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