I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
