Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
