sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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