I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
