Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.