Can Purell be used as lube?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
