ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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