He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize