i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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