its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
