i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
