She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
