he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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