i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
