Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
