i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
They should really pass out barf bags in church
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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