Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
