it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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