the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
