I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
