Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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