no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Can you bring me the toilet please
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
