I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
