Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize