There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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