I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
