hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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