Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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