Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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