Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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