Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
