apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize