I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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