Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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