this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize