Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
