so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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