three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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