She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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