Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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