quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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