a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I faked an abortion last night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
