Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
