You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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