How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
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Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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