All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it because I queefed?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
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Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
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He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
my poor anus
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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