We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
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The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
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It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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