Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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