So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Are these your boobs on my camera?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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