awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Randomize
