I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
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You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
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We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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