His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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