i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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