soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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