Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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