y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
