I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
